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It didn’t help any that every time I looked at my daughter I was reminded of what had happened. My paranoia grew so strong that I started acting distant towards her. When she would enter a room, I would leave it; when she was out by the pool, I was in my den, nose buried in a book or a newspaper or engrossed in the TV. I was doing anything and everything I could to pretend like nothing had happened, anything to keep my wife from finding out what had transpired between our daughter and me.My distance was taking its toll on Leelee. We had always been close; but now, when she would hug me, I would stiffen (in the nervous way, not the fun way) and make some excuse to get away from her. It was as if, having gone so far to the extreme of inappropriateness with her, I was attempting to compensate by going to the other extreme of almost complete avoidance. And it was starting to bother her. Now, when I would walk into the room, she’d look at me and then silently leave. She even avoided. Later when I got up the nerve to say something to her in the powder room,she just mumbled something like "you don't have to dress like that to bea female" or something that I didn't quite understand.The rest of my workday was rather uneventful. After all I had beenbehaving like Beth on the phone for months, now I just looked the part!And I found myself enjoying feeling more like a woman that just a voiceon the other end.I also felt more at ease when I went to the bathroom, which was alwayscoed but never felt right for a man to be in there, what with a couch andlotions on the counter, plus no urinals to be seen. Now it occurred to methat, from now on, I'd be sitting down to pee no matter where I was.While this might take some getting used to, at least I wasn't being onegender on the phone and another in the rest of my daily activities.Speaking of daily activities, it was time to go to class. Getting theretook a bit longer, since I was now walking in heels and kept feeling likeI was.
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